I let him do sweet things, flirt me, care for me, sharing with me, and all sorts of things a couple would do but...
in the same time before I let him did all that things, I knew he have someone special in his heart who he used to work hard to get but when I said that I feel guilty to be his bestfriends and do all this mushy things together bcs I know what the girl's reaction if she know about all these and I really understands it well. He said that I've done nothing to even feel that, He instead who should feel that guilty bcs he's the one who started this all and he said bcs he can't control his feelings. I don't understand what's his feelings towards me actually.
but then, I decide to ignore what is not sure yet, I mean like he's no even married or engage to the girl thus I likes someone else but then that 'someone else' being heartlessly hurting me physically and I freaking cried bcs I never thought he could ever dare do that but then the first boy I talk about comfort me and teach me to become more polite in my speech and makes me weak in some way. He does everything I want in someone that gonna be my husband, I kinda fell for him bcs he has that package of what I want but that is second. The first one is, for the first time in my life a man bravely ask me out and lie to me that he's gonna bring his friends but then only both of us are there, when I ask him why he said he wants to spend time with me only. Other than that, he does things that I want without I ask for it. He understands my pain when I said my back hurts like hell when im on my period, he even talk about 18+ topic comfortably around me, he said I'm his girl 'friend' ever bcs bfre this he was in 'Sekolah Pondok'.
The point is now, I asked him back then when Im having a conversation with him, either he still like the girl or not, he just keep quiet and look down. Sayang, you can only choose one woman in ur life. Choose her, I'll leave.