He unintentionally becomes so handsome and I fall in love like for the first time I have ever met him. I felt really grateful of not coming out from the exam hall because I got to see him walk out from the exam hall to restroom. Amazingly I saw him pass by the window(which is where I seated) and walking like a model which I don't how the hell my imagination get so high that I feel like I'm taking a drug and kind of obsess with someone who overly attractive to me.
Mase teacher addmaths buat kelas tambahan and we had to join Karisma, kelas tuh sesak gile cm amnde je nk bljr dlm tuh kan and I was expecting to be seated with him at least but naahhh it never happen ofcourse.
I caught him staring at us (refer to me and my friend, zati) and I keep bothering myself with that stare because I know he looks at me, right? (Hope so). Sometimes, I thought he likes Zati but the possibilty is like 15% like that and I don't know why I make that calculation but never mind let's get back with my story, but then he came to us and I don't remember either he's talking or not with Zati and if he is maybe its about his probs of love yg die suke share ngan Zati bout that girl capital 'A' (such a lucky bitch), and I was scared I might get hurt for the 6th times so I end up walk out from the classroom because I am so nervous and worried of getting hurt by hearing story bout his crush! UGH! who the hell actually yang you like ha? OMG crush stop confusing me. I feel like want to cuss at you but I just can't, ugh.
Sweet memories I had bout him,
While waiting for the 'time's up' for my second last paper, I don't know why I got so high in imagine him become mine and I was smiling like an idiot. Unfortunately, the invigilator caught up my stupid behavior and making a weird face which just asking for a punch but literally I just shut up and calm the f*** down and start again my "so high imagination". I was so into the imagination and it scared the hell out of me because I might have a really high hopes of it so I snapped out back to reality and instead I stare at him from behind which he was so far from me but still I can see a bit of his parts of body and what surprise me more is when I amazingly can recognize him even from the back and he was far too. That day actually I'm wishing for something like a confession from him but it was just an imagination. Since it's gonna be second last paper and I create to many unrealistic things and wishing it to be happen which never happen after that. I feel a bit disappointed but never mind, I knew it wasn't a good idea to even have a hope like that.
Today wasn't like I expected. I was walking up to the school's gate and unfortunately I don't see him but i still see his motorcycle and I was like "Hm die tak balik lagi rupanye" and secara kebetulan Zati ask me to wait with her for her mother and suddenly Zati and Ema came up with a plan to hangout at Zati's house and suddenly Hana called me to ask me go out with her to accompany her to post office. After that, Zati ask me to get inside the school because 'he' (my crush) might be in there and I can take a chance to see him again and yeah I did. It was so exciting because he sit in front of me while I'm talking to my friends at canteen and he keep bumped my leg with his (and suddenly I got this really excited feeling which is so dirty minded of me) and my friends keep teasing me behind his back and I was blushing like mad but still act all tough in front of him. Then, he talks to me while looks me into the eyes but unfortunately because of my stupid nervous system I can't even look him straight while talking and I regret it like 100 times today. I am scared he might think I hate him or what but actually "CRUSH, I FUCKING NERVOUS OKAY! PLEASE DON'T MISUNDERSTOOD"
Oh ya talking bout crush, teringt bout my ex-crush which starts with capital 'I' which I pretty much of resent him because he was so rude to me while being so nice and flirty to other girls, but that is not the case of me hating him. It because I realize he keep giving me hope after I confessed and makes me cuss like THE FUCK he think. I stalked him before and I found that he likes someone already and for god sake IDGAF bout that it just that now I know the truth of your real behavior. Let me get this straight, I stop liking him because he keeps giving false hope, being all nice and flirty to other girls while treating me like shit, flirting me when it is the wrong time to do it so, for being so hateful when cussing at me, and to be sum up, you disappoint me, seriously. I don't really hate you much longer it just that I moved on and thanks to a guy who said he had a crush on me but then end up being so all badass and like a a-year-younger girl which gives me fucking bullshit that I don't deserve after tried taking his confession seriously for three months.
Why lah I keep receiving bullshit like this, is it because of my flaw which I know I really don't have any specialty that will attract opposite sex though but still I got feelings. Well, since after I stalked my new crush nih, I saw his tweet bout moving on, I guess that girl has hurt him which I really want to take this chances of stealing him back. At some point, I know it's my fault of not being serious for what he said, but the thing is that confession was made by his best friend though he is there and heard it all.