As we (Malaysian) all know, SPM is the last test for secondary school students before they graduate and I am now one of the candidates. My last year in SMK Saujana Impian, my senior year which I still in this condition where I didn't feel like a senior one. How fast time flies that I didn't realize I miss many sweet times with my friends since 2009 till now 2013. Since it's gonna be my last year here, I had some bucket of wish list of the things I'm going to do which is,
- Be more friendly
- Be a diligent person who work hard to get what one's want
- Get at least 5A's in SPM
- Stay in touch with my best friends.
- No crush ( If I can )
Actually there's much more but I just couldn't think of it right now coz I'm not in such good mood to explain it all. However, I can only express how depressed I am to fight myself not to be so lazy to even open a book because (SERIOUSLY) this is my last test which going to determine my future.
I still couldn't understand why that 'diligent feeling' could hardly get into me in this short period of time before the trial that's gonna happen in next week. Like yeahhhhhhhh I know this is the important thing that will determine my life but does my brain won't give me any warning so that I can wake up from this mushy mushy dreams! UGH what an annoying brain. So lazy to even think of it!
I just hope I can cover all topics that I have learned before this. I hope my brain can show how it really works as it does even I'm lazy. I wanna know what's my limit. I can't even show peoples that I can do much better because I had this easy life though my family is not a rich one, what I do at home is just eat, sleep, watch tv, surf internet, sometimes I massage my mom, ... that's all. Like none of it will bring me out luck ( except for helping my mom ).
My mom always blabbering bout how lazy I get when I starts open my laptop, touch my phone and etc. I know I'm wrong but the devil is very bad influenced me on things I shouldn't do as I know my life would be ruin anytime because of those things.
Lately, I realized my English Speaking/Writing has become awful in someway. I don't know why, maybe I'm in sort of attracting to K-pop that I forget to use English more often. It's not like I know Hangeul that much but I keep learn it like English is not of my subject in SPM. I think I should stop doing all this only for four months! Please dearself! be more diligent! be more hard work! Think of your future not your stupid desire. You can do what you want after SPM! TRUST ME! You wouldn't regret anything if you can focus on this one!
Please dearself, I'm begging you
Sincerely, your future.